Чат Ⅲ

я упала с самосвала, тормозила головой..
Vivienne Westwood Fall 2011

Приложение «Госуслуги» на Android перестало «закрываться» после обновления 15 октября 2015 года. Теперь программа в фоновом режиме работает на смартфоне всегда, жалуются её пользователи. Из других отзывов известно, что обновлённая программа теперь каждую минуту обращается за GPS координатами. Соответственно те кому важнее батарейка телефона — ругают разработчиков «Госуслуг» из «Ростелекома» за повышенную прожорливость приложения. Вторая часть раздосадованных владельцев просто недопонимает цель авторов программы. Зачем госкорпорации потребовалось раз в минуту уточнять, где находится тот или иной гражданин? ФИО, и другие персональные данные гражданина, государству тоже известны, благодаря самому предназначению госприложения. Поэтому в целом история для пользователей выглядит, как осуществлённая на практике сцена из романа «1984» Оруэлла о «Большом брате». С учётом того, что «Госуслуги» ведут такую статистику, как, например, «задолженность» — людям становится совсем страшно интересно.
Устанавливал я это недоразумение , жесть, на следующий день снёс нахер.

— Девушка, вы мне понравились, давайте с вами встретимся завтра.
— Что вы?! Я замужем … давайте сегодня!

My friends assisted suicide
A dear friend of mine recently chose to end her life due to a terminal diagnosis. Unfortunately in Canada, assisted suicide is not allowed, so there was an epic trip to Reykjavik-Zurich.. and this is the end of that5 journey
Elizabeth had an easy passing. After having breakfast and saying goodbye to her friend Zoli, we took a cab to Forch. There in the village outside of the house, the two accompanyers Andrea and Arthur welcomed us and brought us into the house. There was a table with four chairs, a couch and a bed. On one wall was a painting of a village in the Alps. On another was a rug of flowers. It was a little cold at first, but Andrea got us hot water and I made us some hibiscus tea.
Elizabeth had to clear the data from her phone and spent a few minutes doing that and making excuses about her swearing. After she got that done, she launched into conversation with Andrea and Arthur asking them how long they had been doing this. What they had done before. Arthur had worked with people with disabilities before and was introduced to this by his former boss and had been doing it for 10 years. Andrea had been a nurse. Elizabeth said to her, “you must have seen people suffer.” Andrea nodded and said, “this is better.” Elizabeth told them about her art show, her book and how her band was playing. She told them about her diagnosis and how grateful she was to Dignitas and for being able to do this, how she was doing this as she had lived her life, freely. She told them about our election in Canada and about Harper and the Conservatives. She told them about the articles and how this was her last performance. How as an artist this was a statement as well as something she was doing for her personal benefit. It is always beautiful how she can talk to strangers and they made a friendship out of curiosity and mutual interest. She eventually said, “Let’s get this happening.” And they brought her the first medication to drink to settle her stomach. They continued to talk about immigration and refugees in Europe, she talked about her parents and Arthur who was maybe a little older than her could relate to not trusting Germans.
Almost two hours after we arrived, Elizabeth said that we should do this. They went to prepare the second medication and Elizabeth picked where she would take it she picked the couch and took a big pillow from the bed to put where she would lay her head. She turned to me and said, “I think I’ve done everything.” I said, “you just have to give me a hug.” We embraced and she said, “I haven’t gone yet.” I asked her if I could bring my chair by her. She said it was okay, but that she would kill me if I started crying. I sat where she would put her feet Arthur sat between me and Andrea and Andrea sat at her head. Arthur check with her by asking her to tell him what would happen when she drank the liquid. Elizabeth said she would lay down, fall asleep and die. She held her nose and drank the liquid. It was awful, she said. And she drank some water and asked me for some chocolate. She told us somebody should tell a joke. So I started to tell the joke about the duck going into a bar and asking for grapes. She knew the joke and interrupted me and said, “I’ll tell it. I tell jokes well.” It went like this: A duck walks into a bar and goes up to the bartender and asks, “Do you have any grapes?” The bartender looks at him and says, no and the duck turns around and leaves. The next day the duck walks into the bar and goes back up to the bartender and says, “Do you have any grapes. The bartender says, “Listen, I told you yesterday, we don’t have any grapes. We’re a bar, we have wine, beer, mixed drinks, but no grapes. The duck walks out. The day after the duck walks into the bar. The bartender flips, “Okay duck, you better not come in here asking for grapes, we don’t have any grapes, we have never had any grapes. If you ask me one more time if we have grapes, I’ll nail your bill to the bar. The ducks says, “do you have any nails.” The bartender says, “No.” The duck then says, “Do you have any grapes?”
We laughed. Elizabeth said she was feeling dizzy. She lay down. Crossed her feet, helds one wrist with her other hand. She said, “this works fast.” Her words started to slur. Her eyelids droop and her mouth opened. She slipped into a coma and I heard a dog bark outside. I stayed with her while the accompanyers checked her breathing and her eyes a few minutes later. Then they gave me some time along with her. I breathed very strongly and slowly, though not too loud, through the whole thing. Just to be a gentle and calming sound. I talked to her about the barking dog. I told her it was okay to let go. Later I told myself it was okay to let go. I went and found them and thanked them for helping her do this the way she wanted. That this had been so important to her. I cried thinking about how important this was to everyone. I had another cup of tea with them and then they called me a c

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